You are More than the Sum of Your Parts

02/22/2022

"Would you be interested in the head Custodian job?" That was the question presented to me by the district's director of operations two weeks before summer break.  The head custodian of my school had decided not to return because of health reasons and his position needed to be filled.  I had been working as the night custodian and so I assume I became the "logical" replacement.  As I look back on the series of events that led to my promotion I have trouble finding the "logic" in any of it.  I had been the night custodian for not quite a year, I had no head custodian experience, and when it came to maintenance of a school I had no experience at all.  It seems to me I was the least "logical" choice to become the head custodian.  Nevertheless, the job was offered and I took it.  I had no idea how to do the job but there was one thing I was sure of... I was going to do my best.  Yet, for the first few months one nagging question kept pushing its way to the front of the checkout line of my thoughts, "Would my best be good enough?".

We all have those thoughts at one time or another in our life.  Those moments when we question our abilities, wondering if what we have to offer any given endeavor will be adequate to see that endeavor through. I've watched as first year teachers struggled in their classrooms.  I've sat with them at break room tables as they held back tears and uttered the familiar words that, I can only assume, countless new teachers say to themselves, "I don't think I can do this.".  As I began my new position I never believed I couldn't do the job.  In retrospect perhaps that was hubris on my part because,the truth was, I didn't even know what my job was. How could I be confident of my skills when I didn't know what skills would be required?  It was early on in the job when I decided that I would tackle my new position with a rather unorthodox mindset.  I knew  I didn't have the skills to be a head custodian but I knew I had the skills to be me.  I would bring my individuality to the job and I trusted that all that I was would be all that was needed. Don't misunderstand, there were a number of skills and procedures I would need to master and I did.  However, I was not going to let this job define me. I would bring all of the parts of me that I was confident in and comfortable with and let those aspects define the type of head custodian I would become.

How do you define yourself?  Are you a teacher, a mother, a father, a custodian? When asked to describe or define ourselves most people immediately list their occupation. In other words, we are what we do.  Rarely is the question answered with a more in depth analysis of our own self.  Rarely is the question of how one is defined answered, " I am a bright and energetic individual with a fierce sense of loyalty and friendship. I am motivated by a sense of accomplishment and have a strong desire to help those in need.  Oh, and by the way, I'm a head custodian."  

I refused to let myself be defined as a custodian because I knew there was a high probability, early in the job, I was going to struggle and I didn't want that struggle to define me. So, I decided, to bring who I was to the job and let that be the driving force of my position.  I am happy to say I think it worked out pretty well.  I am not sure how good of a custodian I actually was, but, I think I was a pretty good co worker, colleague, and friend.  And in the end, that's how I would like to be defined.

I challenge you to look at the manner in which you define yourself.  Remove anything you "do" from that definition. Rather, replace it with who you are, your likes, tendencies, desires, and purpose. Because in the end, that's what makes you who are.  One day what you do will change or end, but who you are remains with you always.  Once we begin to define ourselves by who we are and not by what do then what we do begins to resemble much more of who we are.

See ya next time!

Derek


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